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Sunday

Jan222023

A Tribute to My Dear Jenny (07/08/60 – 01/18/23)

Sunday, January 22, 2023 at 12:14PM

My dear Jenny and wife of 37 years entered the immediate presence of God through the merits of Jesus Christ on Wednesday morning. She is now enjoying eternal life to the fullest as she beholds the unimaginable glory of God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Jenny was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2014. I wrote about it here. In July 2022, she discovered the cancer had returned and spread throughout her body. Nothing could be done to treat it. She died in hospice care on January 18, 2023. Up until the last month or so she was able to enjoy and interact with her children and grandchildren.

When Jenny turned 50 on July 8, 2010, I wrote a humorous piece to honor and thank her in her many roles. I titled it, “A Few Cherished Memories.” I indent and quote some of those memories below.

Here is my tribute to her.

In 1979 I was leading a campus ministry at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) when I met Jenny. I was from the Philadelphia area and she was from the Pittsburgh area. I had just graduated from seminary. She was sophomore majoring in speech pathology and audiology.

She was keenly interested in knowing more about the Bible’s teaching on marriage and family. She asked if I could recommend some resources. At that time she had a relatively low view of marriage but was changing her perspective. She had seen no compelling examples except for a friend whose parents were Christians. I believe that friend led her to Christ her senior year in high school.

After our Wednesday night fellowship meeting, I loaned her my copy of Larry Christenson’s bestselling book, The Christian Family. It is still in print. I then walked her back to her dorm room across campus. We talked further about God’s wonderful plan for marriage and family. Her mind was being renewed and my heart was being stirred!

“Walking you back to dorm room and talking about Christian marriage and family until 2 am – an absolutely delightful experience. I loved your passion for Christ, knowledge and change. I also left feeling a strong attraction to you. Yea baby!”

I began to take a friendly interest in her. I’d stop by her dorm room to see how she was doing. I was the campus minister! Her girlfriends told her they thought I was interested in her. She could not believe it. I was six years older. They were right!

In April 1980, I asked Jenny if we could court with a view to considering marriage. I still remember the exact place on campus where we conversed. She said yes though the thought was rather overwhelming. She was raised a feminist. To be independent. A college degree and career, not marriage to a pastor, were her aspirations. Things had radically changed in her heart and mind.

“Soon after [the talk about Christian marriage and family] talking to you about courtship on the IUP campus. Why wait? I’m glad you were so young and innocent. I caught you by surprise. You were naïve enough to let me sweep you off your feet. Boy, I am grateful!”

Other things were also happening. The month before in March, I was asked to be the first pastor of Indiana Christian Fellowship (now Saving Grace Church). College students from the campus ministry began to attend the church. It was an extraordinary time.

Fast forward. In October 1981, we married in Greystone Presbyterian Church in Indiana, PA. Six hundred family and friends were in attendance. What a day! At age 21, Jenny was the wife of a “senior” pastor. We moved into a tiny house for $250 a month in rent.

“Getting married at Greystone Presbyterian in 81. After my conversion, far and away the best day of my life! I remember our 2 hour 40 minute celebration with great joy. Especially singing to each other. What a test of your submission.”

“Our first night at the Holiday Inn in Dubois, PA and our honeymoon on Nantucket Island. Driving my parent’s new Volvo. I can still taste those 4 lbs. lobsters. Most of all, enjoying every moment with you.”

In August 1982, we were sent out from the church to help start People of Destiny International with Larry Tomczak and C.J. Mahaney in Wheaton, MD. It was a church planting ministry.

It wasn’t long before Jenny gave birth to our four children (Jonathan - Feb 83, Carolyn - Jan 85, Bryan - Dec 87, and Stephen - Apr 90). She was an extraordinary mother from the get-go. She home schooled all the children from kindergarten through high school.

“Home schooling with four children ages 7, 5, 2 and newborn. All the way through high school. I am exceedingly grateful for your extraordinary investment in their intellectual development and our building a strong family!”

In August 1983, we were sent out to establish Fairfax Covenant Church (now Redeeming Grace Church), a newly adopted church into People of Destiny. I assumed leadership of the church.

“Moving to Fairfax and rolling up our sleeves to build a church. My first big apostolic test and our third home in three years. You supported me throughout.”

In 1985 we moved to Daytona Beach for six weeks to establish Halifax Covenant Church (now Christ Church) and in 1987 we moved to Orlando for three months to establish Household of Faith (now Metro Life Church).

“Our moves to Daytona in 85 and Orlando in 87. Jonathan telling Carolyn to jump off the condo unit on the 12th floor [Daytona]. Finding out you were pregnant with Bryan and Carolyn putting a metal key in the electrical outlet [Orlando]. You were a trooper. Still are.”

In 1991 we were sent out from the Fairfax, VA church to plant a church in Charlotte, NC. This was our third major move. I was considering several cities (Charlotte, Raleigh, Boston, Birmingham, Albuquerque). Jenny didn’t like the idea of Boston – too cold!

“Moving to Charlotte (not Raleigh) in 91. You were willing to go anywhere. Well, maybe not Boston.”

For the next fifteen years (1991-2006), she led the women’s ministry and did an incredible job. The church grew. We built a large facility. Only half kiddingly, it was due to her.

“Grand Opening of the bldg. in 2002. We grew the church around the world’s best women’s ministry!”

More than anything else I was attracted to Jenny because of her love for Jesus Christ. She wanted to serve him with all her heart. That was evident when we traveled two weeks to three churches in Florida to teach and encourage them. It was becoming the year 2000. Jenny was fearless.

“Our Y2K trip to Florida churches. The end of the world was coming and you were willing to live on the road and out of a suitcase with four children. What a hoot watching the news. Big dud.”

Jenny was amazing in so many ways.

“Carolyn’s wedding in 2003. Our only daughter. This day was bitter and sweet. She was the first child to leave home. I remember the tears and joy. It was a big adjustment to lose the only other “girl” in the house. But the day was extraordinary in every way! You planned it and beautified it like no other wedding, reception or private dinner. You were incredible and I was broke.”

Soon grandchildren were on the way.

“Wesley was born in 2004. Can you believe it? We were grandparents. Maybe we were getting old but you looked like his mother!”

And it wasn’t long after that we celebrated our 25^th anniversary on a cruise in the western Mediterranean.

“Our 25^th anniversary cruise in 2006. It was as enjoyable as our honeymoon. I was sagging a little but you were soaring!”

Then we planted Grace Community Church in Mooresville, NC in March 2008. It involved another move for Jenny and starting over. That is never easy.

In 2012 Jenny returned to college at age 51. She earned a two year degree from Cabarrus College of Health Science and graduated top in her class in May 2014. She had 4.0 average. I always told the kids your mother is smart, real smart, that is where you got your brains! Soon after she was hired by Cabarrus Family Medicine.

Tragically, she was diagnosed with breast cancer nine months after she graduated. The next 1½ years she endured great suffering without complaint while trusting God. She even worked when able. One of the doctors wrote me this note.

From: Levy, Robert M
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2015 12:38 PM
To: Brent Detwiler
Subject: RE: Jenny Completes Treatment

Brent,

What a journey this has been! Your wife, is beyond a doubt, one of the most incredible people we have ever worked with. So humble, strong, and resolute. I hold great hope that her treatments will be successful. If there is anything you or she need anytime, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I hope that every October from here forward we will look back at Breast Cancer Awareness month with an appreciation for what she has endured to achieve her cure and move our energy onto screening and treating others!

Bobby

In August 2016, she returned to full time work. The physicians for whom she directly worked practically treated her like a physician’s assistant. She was deeply loved and respected by everyone in the family medicine practice which had over 30 employees.

In September 2016, we took a family vacation on the Outer Banks in Avon, NC near Cape Hatteras.

I ended “A Few Cherished Memories” with this one.

“Oops…I’ve run out of time. Through it all you have been an amazing source of support, wisdom, and great times for everyone. You have sacrificed so much for the good of us all. There isn’t a better wife or mother in all the world.”

Jenny was a godly woman, a wonderful wife, an extraordinary mother, and an outstanding home maker, educator, women’s ministry director & teacher, and certified medical assistant.

She was also the grandmother of six children from ages 2 to 18 who loved her dearly. I mourn their loss. I am sure the memory of her will guide them the rest of their lives.

Throughout our years together, I often referred to Jenny as my dear Jenny or my dear wife. She was precious. I miss her deeply.

Here are some more of my favorite photos with her and the family.

A Trip to Washington D.C. & Tour of the West Wing