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Entries by Brent Detwiler (478)

Wednesday
Jun262024

Ben Ross Exposes “Narrative Control” Employed by C.B. Eder & Sovereign Grace Leaders to Deceive Churches

C.B. Eder is the lead pastor of Christ Community Church near Reading, PA.  It is part of the Sovereign Grace Churches denomination.  C.B. went to the 1997-1998 Pastors College.  I taught him Systematic Theology.  He was young and became a friend of our family.  I occasionally preached in the church. 

I also knew Ben Ross.  He went to the 2007-2008 Pastors College.  I taught him Bibliology.  He was on staff with C.B. from 2008-2017.  Today he is a pastor at Ephrata Bible Fellowship Church which is 30 minutes from C.B.  You can read his biography here.   

Ben Ross - Assoc. Pastor, Ephrata Bible Fellowship Church

In June 2021, Ben read an article by Joshua Pease titled, “The Sin of Silence.”  It was about “the epidemic of denial about sexual abuse in the evangelical church.”  It appeared in The Washington Post in May 2018 and referenced Sovereign Grace Churches. 

It prompted Ben “to not stay silent.”  He used Twitter to share his thoughts though he spoke in generalities.  No one would know he was talking about C.B. Eder, John Reyes (his associate pastor), and key leaders in Sovereign Grace Churches.  Nevertheless, his insights were valuable.   

C.B. Eder - Lead Pastor, Christ Community Church

On the other hand, it was difficult reading his comments since he silenced people in Christ Community Church and told them not to read The Documents when I sent them out in July 2011.  He also condemned me.  I expressed my displeasure to him. 

In the narrative below, he describes what happened in Christ Community Church because he allowed it to happen.  I challenged him to speak out with specifics.  That is the only thing that gets the attention of abusive leaders.  Nevertheless, what he says is very instructive in understanding how Sovereign Grace Churches operate.  I’ve added comments.

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610
I recently read an article about the sin of staying silent about spiritual abuse in the church. The following is my attempt to not stay silent. Thank you to @kjramseywrites @wademullen @R_Denhollander @DianeLangberg @reachjulieroys for helping me to find my voice
4:30 PM · Jun 26, 2021

Brent Detwiler
@BrentDetwiler
I wish you had joined me ten years ago when I began speaking out about abuse in SGM.  Instead, you committed “the sin of staying silent” and worse.  You were part of the abuse in condemning me.  This tweet is disingenuous.
6:24 PM Jun 26, 20221

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610 · 4h
Replying to @BenRoss610
Spiritually abusive church leaders use “loyalty” and “Narrative Control” to maintain power. They use loyalty in that people who toe the company line get access and opportunity. If you share too often that you disagree with the leader, access and opportunity are removed. 

[Comment: This is a widespread dynamic in Sovereign Grace Churches.  When I was still part of SGC and bringing up issues of concern with C.J., I remember Dave Harvey telling me, “You are about to get benched if you keep raising issues with C.J.”  In the end, Dave got benched by C.J. too. 

Ben is right.  If you remain “loyal” you will get promoted but this is not the kind of loyalty God commends in Scripture.  This is a corrupt and cowardly loyalty that remains silent in the face of serious sins in order to climb the ladder.  All the top leaders in SGC are guilty of remaining silent and worse; they have covered up sin.  Those who are loyal to Jesus have left in protest.]

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
This leads to “Narrative Control.”  When a person desires to leave because of concerns about the spiritually abusive church leader and system, they have only two options.  1. Leave quietly and come up with an agreed upon statement about why they are leaving. 

[Comment: This is what Ben did when he stepped down as an associate pastor in May 2017.  He was not honest with the church and gave no reasons for his resignation.  He did the same thing when he left the church in November 2017.  This too allowed C.B. Eder and John Reyes to put forward a false narrative.  It is clear now that he left because C.B. was a “spiritually abusive church leaders” who had created a “system” of abuse.]

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
(The reason is usually secondary reasons and not the primary reasons that often put leaders in a bad light) If they leave quietly the leader can control the story and put the leadership in the best light with the church. 

[Comment: Because Ben was not open and honest about the reasons for leaving, C.B. and John were able to tell the church it was due to “weaknesses” in C.B.’s leadership and preaching.  These were secondary reasons.  The primary reasons were due to issues of character that were disqualifying in nature.  This never came out.  Ben left quietly and they controlled the story and put themselves in the best light.]

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
2. The second option is when a person shares their concerns with others.  If a person does this, leadership often seeks control by telling the church things like: A. He has gone sideways and they are concerned about him spiritually 

[Comment: C.B. and John did this in subtle ways in their comments to the church about Ben leaving CCC.  I’m sure they did the same in private.  More later.]

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
B. He wanted more power and didn’t get it and that’s why he was upset  C. He is being slanderous and the church should avoid him.  (The term slander in the spiritually abusive church is used anytime anything negative is said about a leader) 

[Comment: All excellent insights.  “He has gone sideways.”  “He wanted more power.”  “He is being slanderous.”  “Avoid him.”  This is the tactic Sovereign Grace Churches uses to discredited the messenger in order to cut people off from the message.]

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
None of these things are often true.  What is true is that these church leaders show through their actions and the history of those who they have hurt that they are most concerned, not with caring for people or doing what is right, but rather maintaining power at all costs.

[Comment:  “None of these things are often true.”  So true.  SGC uses slander to make someone into a slanderer to injure them.   The history of SGC shows they are “most concerned” with “maintaining power at all cost.”  That was true of C.B. and John at CCC.  They also had help from top leaders in SGC.  More later.]

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
These things break my heart and have caused those who have experienced it years of pain as they process the hurt from people who they put their trust in.  What I know is that these things break God’s heart even more and He will bring His grace and justice to it all. 

[Comment: “Years of pain” is not necessary.  You can move pass the pain and realize the blessedness of doing what was right.  When you confront evil in leaders you are going to suffer.  It comes with the territory.  It is part of your calling as a Christian.  Yes, betrayal is painful but consider that suffered by our Lord Jesus Christ “who came to His own and His own received him not.”  God brings grace to endure.  God brings justice.  That is obvious with Sovereign Grace Churches.  He has exposed, opposed, and deposed many.]

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
My prayer is that more and more people will speak out against these abuses and that healthy churches and leaders will rise up in their place. 

Brent Detwiler
@BrentDetwiler
Replying to @BenRoss610 @kjramseywrites and 4 others
Ben, I sent you thousands of pgs. of evidence over many yrs.  Yet you joined w/ those who viciously attacked me as a slanderer.  If you want to “not stay silent” speak out against SGC & those close to you (CB Eder, Ken Mellinger, Ben Kreps). Document detailed expose’ & post on FB.
9:25 PM · Jun 26, 2021 

Brent Detwiler
@BrentDetwiler
Replying to @BenRoss610 @kjramseywrites and 5 others
I’d love to know your story.  Please send.  You said “My prayer is more & more people will speak out against these abuses.”  Great.  Do so by name & in detail.  Not just generalities.  Abusive leaders must be identified & publicly rebuked w/ evidence.
12:42 PM · Jun 27, 2021 

[Comment: Ben was not willing to do this.  He has never spoken out by name or in detail yet what he describes above is so evident in the comments made to the church by C.B. and John about the Ross’s departure.  Follow along.]      

On December 3, 2017, Christ Community Church had a “Family Meeting” after the Sunday morning worship service to talk about Ben, his wife Kelly, and the family leaving the church.  I was sent a copy of the audio which I’ve transcribed below.  

I responded to the person who sent me the audio in two emails.  “John” is John Reyes.  “Tim, Warren, Mark, Andy” are Tim Shorey, Warren Boetcher, Mark Prater, Andy Farmer - top leaders in Sovereign Grace Churches.  

From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: [Redacted]
To: [Redacted]
Subject: FW: Family meeting recording from last Sunday 

I just listened to the recording.  Here are some quick thoughts. 

Definitely a cover up of character issues and sin issues with C.B.  Everything is cast as “weaknesses” in preaching and leadership.  The “serious critiques” are of his “gifting.”  There is not even a whiff of wrongdoing. 

Throughout, John, Tim, Warren, Mark, Andy are put forward as character witnesses who “vetted” C.B. vouching he is “both qualified and gifted.”  No issues of concern are mentioned.  Not even how he needs to grow in preaching or leadership let along faults in both undertakings.  Everyone disagrees with Ben after C.B. has been “vetted.” 

On the other hand, C.B. frequently puts Ben and Kelly in a bad light.  They are the sinners.  Not him. And yet he repeatedly says they have “protected and guarded” their “good reputation” throughout the process.  In other words, Ben and Kelly have sinned throughout the process.  It is sick. 

C.B. and John take absolutely no responsibility for their departure or the departure of so many others over the previous year that were “really painful” to C.B.  In other words, they did him wrong and inflicted pain in their ungodly leaving.  Now there is need to “bind up emotional wounds” inflicted upon him and those who have stayed. 

There is no mention of sin.  No reference to needing to grow in character.  He just has “weaknesses” in preaching and leadership.  All morally neutral language.  This was a con job by C.B. and John.  C.B. is [put forward as] a man of integrity, honesty, graciousness, and humility.  

From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: [Redacted]
To: [Redacted]
Subject: RE: Family meeting recording from last Sunday 

There is no question they are not ”being fully truthful.”  I think their presentation is full of lies and half-truths.  They never even mention what Ben’s critique is of C.B.’s preaching and leadership entailed.  It is all vague.  For example, authoritarian preaching or heavy-handed leadership.  

Here is the transcript of the Family Meeting.  It is reprehensible and a classic example of “narrative control”  I’ve added comments.  

Family Meeting
C.B. Eder & John Reyes
December 3, 2017 

Well, John and I received word, a couple of weeks ago, that Ben and Kelly Ross decided to leave the church.  We wanted to inform you as soon as we could but due to everyone involved, needing just time to process, and the holidays, and some vacations, this was the earliest Sunday we could call a meeting to discuss this with you. 

Ben was a pastor here for nine years and there is no doubt God has used him to touch many of us here at Christ Community Church.  This is very sad news and it is hard to deliver it but are believing that God is going to show his goodness in it. 

[Comment: I taught Ben when he attended the 2007-2008 Pastors College.  He was a pastor at CCC from 2008-2017.]  

In late September, Ben mentioned to me that it’s been hard for them to be at Christ Community since the transition out of pastoral ministry back in May.  He was informing us that he was exploring whether or not he would go to our sister church in Lancaster, and I told him that wherever he and his family would be most blessed in Christ, is where I would desire for them to be.  

[Comment: C.B. implies the transition out of pastoral ministry was the reason Ben was thinking about going to Lancaster Covenant Church, now called Crossway Church.  That is not true.  LCC left Sovereign Grace Churches in October 2019.  C.B. puts himself in a good light.] 

And then in early November, he informed us that it seems likely that they will no longer be with us starting the beginning of January.  And also confirmed that in communication with the Lancaster pastoral team, and also our regional leader Warren Boetcher.  

So since his upcoming departure was communicated so definitively by Ben to multiple sources, we decided to have a leaders meeting November 12th to inform our leaders so we could care for them with regards to his departure along with the other departures that have already happened over the last season in the life of our church. 

[Comment: Ben is going about things following SGC protocols.  He informed C.B. and John in early November he was likely leaving.  He communicated to the Lancaster pastoral team and Warren Boetcher he was definitely leaving.  Therefore, C.B. calls a secret meeting with leaders in the church.  Ben is not invited.  No doubt this was done for damage control.  Others had left the church already.  Ben and Kelly were another major blow.]

The day after our leaders’ meeting on the 12th, Ben sent an email to Warren Boetcher, our current northeast regional director for Sovereign Grace Churches, the family of churches that we are a part of.  He sent an email to Warren, to John, and to I, resuming critiques about me that we thought were no longer current, since we had processed them earlier this year with him along with the help of Tim Shorey and Andy Farmer.  And I want to tell them to you so you know what they are. 

[Comment: Ben had to have heard about the leaders’ meeting behind his back.  This is standard operating procedure.  It may have prompted him to write “resuming [his] critiques.”  He is leaving because nothing has changed with C.B.  C.B. vindicates himself saying John Reyes, Warren Boetcher, Tim Shorey, and Andy Farmer thought the critiques were obsolete.  Then he tells the church he wants them to “know what they are.”  Nothing could be further from the truth!] 

Ben has critiques about my preaching and my leadership and within the past two weeks he has also expressed the thought to us that he doesn’t believe I should be senior pastor of Christ Community Church at this time because of the weakness in gifting he perceives. 

He doesn’t feel like he is getting spiritually what he and his family needs and doesn’t have confidence that he will discipled sufficiently here.  

[Comment:  I doubt Ben would say, “he doesn’t believe I should be senior pastor” “because of the weakness” in “my preaching and my leadership.”  I know C.B.  He is an able teacher and leader.  He is making it about his gifting, not character.  I think it was combination of the two for Ben.  Clearly, C.B. is setting Ben against the church.  The Ross’s don’t feel spiritually nourished and Ben doesn’t feel he will be sufficiently discipled or trained.  They are disgruntled.] 

Ben formally wrote out the substance of his critiques about my preaching and leadership a year ago.  When he did that we thought it wise to get the help of Tim Shorey, who was then our northeast regional leader, but has since his term is finished, so Warren is the new regional leader, but Tim Shorey and Andy Farmer, a long time pastor, a licensed counselor, and a friend in Sovereign Grace, in order to benefit from their perspective, and to help our pastoral team, process through the critiques Ben had about me. 

[Comment: If C.B. had any integrity he would hand out the critique of his preaching and leadership.  This critique was a year old (Nov. 2016).  Six months later (May 2017), Ben stepped down from ministry.  Ben should send the critique to the church and members of the church should ask for it from C.B.  I know Andy Farmer.  He has covered up all manner of sin including the sexual abuse of children.  His credentials mean nothing.] 

And as I mentioned a couple of times earlier this year, we benefitted from Tim and Andy greatly as a pastoral team.  I am going to let John share with you his observations about how I walked through that time from his perspective and I’ll let him share that with you now.  So John. 

[Comment: This is unbelievable.  C.B. is calling upon his “partner in crime” to be his character witness as though he is credible.  He knows exactly what John is going to say.  It has all been rehearsed and written out.  John will commend him.  No surprise.  Ben is not in the meeting.  He left quietly or in the words of SGC he “left well.”  That was a grave disservice.  Friends of Ben have said so.  They wish he had been honest about why he was leaving.] 

As C.B. has stated earlier we both received word from Ben and Kelly that he and the kids had decided to leave Christ Community.  If I could give a brief background concerning this, about a week prior to C.B. and I going to Croatia in 2016 (November), during one of our elders’ meetings, Ben brought some serious critiques he had about C.B. and his preaching and leadership giftings to the table.  

[Comment: John does not tell us what the “serious critiques” of C.B.’s preaching and leadership are.  It is covered up.  I commend Ben for doing this.  These critiques were so serious they got the attention of top leaders in the denomination.  I can tell you from experience that does not happen unless it is major. 

The church supported Mario and Jen Vucenovic in Croatia.  Here is an email from C.B. to me in November 2016. 

From: CB Eder
Sent: Wednesday, November 16, 2016 10:49 AM
To: Brent Detwiler
Subject: OUT OF OFFICE Re: FW: An Open Letter to Todd Pruitt Regarding His Unfounded Attacks on Wayne Grudem & Bruce Ware 

Thanks for your email.  I will be out of the office until Nov. 23 visiting Mario and Jen Vucenovic in Croatia.  Please pray for souls to be saved and a church plant to be established there!  Feel free to contact Ben Ross if you need immediate help. 

Mario and Jen separated from C.B. and John due to their hypocrisy, selfish ambition, and abusive leadership.  They too left quietly because they needed the financial support of members in CCC.  Mario wrote me and asked if I would write up his story but not use his name.  That was not doable.  The church has never been told the truth about why they departed.] 

Throughout the meeting, C.B. listened to Ben, and from that moment on took what Ben had said to heart, the Lord, and prayer.  Due to the nature of Ben’s critiques, I thought it best to bring in an extra local pair to help the three of us process through them and proceed from there.  And both Ben and C.B. agreed.  I contacted Tim Shorey immediately following our elders’ meeting and shared with him some of Ben’s concerns about C.B. were. 

[Comment:  Once again we are not told “the nature of Ben’s critique” but they were so serious that Tim Shorey, regional director over all the churches in the northeast, is brought in to examine the situation.] 

Throughout our process in our meetings with Tim Shorey and with Andy Farmer I watched C.B. listen to Ben’s critiques and respond to them by owning those that needed to be owned.  

[Comment: John never tells us what C.B. owned.  Nor does C.B. with any clarity.  It is covered up.] 

I was actually encouraged by the graciousness and humility C.B. displayed throughout the process as he sought to grow in areas of perceived weakness.  As time passed, Ben thought that C.B. was growing in those areas as well that he had identified as weaknesses.  And by the spring of this year, Tim and Andy expressed that Ben’s critiques of C.B. had been vetted sufficiently and that these issues had been resolved.  

[Comment: “Grow in areas of perceived weakness.”  Not actual weakness.  Moreover, C.B. was gracious and humble throughout.  Ben’s critiques were vetted.  There was nothing to them.  All were resolved.] 

I can remember at least two occasions throughout this process when C.B. offered Tim, Warren Boetcher, and myself, to step down as senior pastor of Christ Community if we thought he was not qualified to lead and if his leadership was not what was best for you.  

[Comment: No one offers to step down for mere weaknesses.  There is much more to this story.  The one Ben lays out in his tweets above.] 

However, Tim, Andy Farmer, Warren, and I disagreed; and although C.B. does have some weaknesses as a pastor, as do all of us pastors, the four of us do not believe, that C.B. should step aside as senior pastor of this church.  We actually believe that C.B. is both qualified and gifted to be the senior pastor of Christ Community.  

[Comment: All the big guns agree.  Tim Shorey, Andy Farmer, Warren Boetcher, and Reyes believe C.B. is “both qualified and gifted.”  Qualified is in reference to his character.  He is above reproach.  Gifted is in reference to his preaching and leadership.  They disagree with Ben on both counts!  End of discussion though he has “some weaknesses as a pastor.”  These are not divulged and they involve no sins.] 

I want to let you to know that up until the last two weeks, C.B. and I were unaware, I do not believe that it was communicated to us, that Ben’s critiques from the last year were still an issue with him because they have been vetted and processed last winter and spring, and because Ben commended growth in C.B., in the relevant critiques.  

[Comment: This narrative is suspect.  Ben’s “serious critiques” in November 2016 (“fall”) and May 2017 (“spring”)  resulted in his stepping down the same month.  “Vetted” means to “make a careful and critical examination of something.”  C.B. was cleared.  Ben resigned as a result.  If Ben “commended growth” it was inadequate.  He could not continue on staff.] 

And so when we shared with the leaders a couple weeks ago that Ben was leaving Christ Community we gave them the reasons he gave to us in September [2017].  We were not in any way holding anything back from the leaders, as to why Ben was leaving, we were not trying to save face for any reason whatsoever.  

[Comment: John doesn’t tell the church “the reasons” Ben gave for leaving the church after being a pastor there for nine years.  Throughout this “narrative control” C.B. and John are holding back the truth and saving face!  That is apparent to anyone with an ounce of discernment.] 

As your pastors, we are fine with all of you knowing the full substance of anyone’s critiques of us and recognized that we both, and probably more me than C.B., have weaknesses as your pastors.  And every pastor has, and will have weaknesses, until we go to heaven.  There is only one perfect pastor and his name Jesus. 

[Comment: If they were “fine with all of you knowing the full substance“ of Ben’s critiques they would have asked Ben to share them with the leaders in September and with the church in November.  And they certainly would have handed out a copy of his written critique from the previous November.  Sin is never talked about as a weakness in the Bible.  Yet that is the only word they use to repeatedly describe themselves.  They are weak.]  

Yea.  Amen, amen John. 

[Comment: This is C.B. chiming in.  He is fine with the “full substance” when he is not!  Back to John.] 

This is why we are conveying Ben’s current perspective to you now.  I believe that C.B walked in humility, integrity, and honesty throughout the process which lasted about six months.  And because he is an honorable man, and a godly man, he also sought to protect Ben’s good name and reputation through this process as well and he continues to do so.  C.B. 

[Comment: They are not “conveying Ben’s current perspective.”  That is absurd.  He had serious concerns for C.B.’s character and abusive leadership.  Instead, they are presenting a false narrative.  C.B. has no faults.  In fact, he covers Ben’s faults.  C.B. is the consummate man of God.  He has not sinned in any way throughout the six month process.  Everything Ben has raised is scurrilous.  His critique is unfair and false.  John Reyes is a brown-noser.  Now, he turns it over to C.B.] 

Thanks John.  Through it all, though there has been disagreements along the way, my love for Ben and Kelly, remained and remains strong.  And we want you to know that they expressed love toward us as well.  We love Ben and Kelly, their children, and their family and our hearts are aching over their departure as many of your hearts will be and your children.  But all the good they have done in our lives remains, and will remain.  

[Comment: C.B. reveals there have “been disagreements along the way.”  He doesn’t tell the church what they are.  And of course, these disagreements are not due to any lack of humility on his part.  John has made that clear.] 

We believe we walked in integrity and honesty along the way, as John mentioned, as we have communicated to you all along the way, and it is important for you to know that.  We also sought to protect and guard Ben’s good name and reputation all along the way while sharing the truth of how things were kind of unfolding. 

[Comment: C.B. puts himself and John forward as exemplary and yet there is no “integrity and honesty” in what they are telling the church.  It is a whitewash.  Again, he puts Ben in a bad light and themselves in a good light.  They “sought to protect and guard” his reputation since his critique was wrong and his call for C.B. to resign completely unfounded.] 

As we have been saying to you, we want you all to feel an open door to share your concerns, your critiques, and evaluations, of us as your pastors, at any point, at any point church.  We want you to feel that we are approachable as your pastors and that you can share anything that you want with us.  

[Comment: People are not stupid.  Ben shared his concerns, critiques, and evaluations and they were all dismissed.  Now he is being trashed.  The moral of the story.  When you approach C.B. and John it will be turned back on you and no fault will be acknowledged.  That is why so many people left the church over the previous year.  C.B. never addresses the cause of this exodus.] 

We recognize that we have blind spots and that is why we are grateful to have you in our lives.  We need you.  We have been getting together in follow up with a number of our leaders and their wives and getting further insights from them on how we can grow.  And we want to open that door up to any of you.  We would be happy to get together with any of you who have any further questions about this announcement or any matters pertaining to the church that are on your heart.  

[Comment: Ben brought up a bunch of “blind spots.”  They were repudiated.  C.B. didn’t need Ben’s input.  He says they have been following up with a number of leaders and wives to get further insights on how they can grow.  Yet, he doesn’t mention a single one!  This gives the appearance of humility when there is none.  Humility means sharing the specific input you are receiving and how you are responding to it. 

Getting with people in private is a means of doing damage control.  C.B. and John will not share openly and honestly in public or allow people to asked tough questions in public where there is accountability.  It is all done in secret where they can say anything they want about Ben (or whomever) and he has no opportunity to defend himself.  These private meetings are often used to deceive or placate the inquirer or complainant.] 

We want you to know how sad we are for you as you have been processing all the painful departures over the last season, including the Ross’s that we are mentioning today.  We are feeling that with you but we are also feeling for you in that. 

[Comment: This is a low point.  C.B. and John take no responsibility for “all the painful departures over the last season.”  They are feeling with and for those who remain but express no sorrow for how their leadership is the main reason for that pain.] 

I wish I could shield you from ever feeling pain within the life of our church.  That has been one of my hardest struggles.  I just want to wrap my arms around all of you and protect you from, and shelter you from any rain and storm. 

[Comment: If C.B. wanted to protect people “from ever feeling pain within the life of our church” due to him, he would repent and change.  But there is no need for such growth according to John.  C.B. gives no hint he is the cause of the pain people have experienced.] 

But God has good purposes in our pain and I need to trust Him with that.  In this last year we have seen brothers and sisters that we had hoped to run side by side with all the way to heaven depart from the church and it has caused our hearts to ache and wipe many tears, and still am.  If you could just pray for us, and pray for me, with that because it has indeed been really painful. 

[Comment: C.B. is a victim.  He has harmed no one but dear “brothers and sisters” have harmed him by departing the church.  This has “caused our hearts to ache and wipe many tears, and still am.”  He pretends to be oblivious.  He should tell the church why these close friends have left the church.  It is because of him as in the case of Ben and Kelly.  He is totally focused on his excruciating pain not his need for confession and repentance.”] 

But let us rally around one another and bind up each other’s wounds from these things.  The emotional wounds.  And pray and if needed cry together.  God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.  And we know that he is moving in ways that are good for all of this and that He cares for us as we understandably feel the pain of these things. 

This has been a hard season, but it has been a God season.  We see God’s goodness at work in all of this and have hope in our hearts as we look to the days to come.  

[Comment: C.B. is obsessed with the “emotional wounds” he and the church have experienced.  He is oblivious to the wounds he has inflicted on those that had to leave close friends because of him.  He is so self-centered.  Ironically, the Lord has been “moving in ways that are good” and they are not mysterious.  He has been trying to get C.B.’s attention so he will address the serious issues in his life.] 

Mark Warren shared with me this story.  I hope it blesses you like it blessed me.  When you plant a tree in your yard, in your front yard, a little sapling, you will often use ropes to sustain it while its newer and fragile and is sending down its roots as a little tree.  But he told me eventually you need to cut the ropes loose and let the small tree blow back and forth in the wind, because it is the process of growing back and forth in the wind that God actually uses to strengthen that small tree.  And if you keep it roped you actually prevent that strengthening from happening.  

I believe in that way God is strengthening us as we are experiencing these winds together, maturing us, deepening us, and that Christ Community Church, will be a stronger church as a result of what God has been doing in the life of our church over this last season. 

[Comments: The winds are people leaving according to C.B.  Until C.B. identifies the winds as God’s discipline and opposition it will not mature and be stronger.] 

I want you to know I have been very helped in my preaching and in my leadership in this last season by the critiques that have come my way by Ben and by others as well, and I am eager to press in all the more.  I want to evaluate the input of all of you and ask that you pray for me that God would help me serve you all, and to the very best of ability, so that Christ is exalted, proclaimed, and enjoyed in and through the life of our church.  

[Comment: Once again he is non-specific.  He doesn’t tell the church how he has been helped.  He doesn’t reveal the critiques he is receiving concerning his preaching and leadership.] 

In particular, I want the applications to everyday life to deepen in my preaching, and I want the broad use of all the spiritual gifts in our local body to be used for broader impact through my leadership, and through John’s leadership.  Those are just two of many things I have been taking from this season of areas where I need to grow.  But I wanted to mention those two because they are upper most in my heart. 

[Comment: “In particular” how does C.B. need to grow?  What is upper most in his heart?  This is the big moment!  What are the specific take aways from all the critiques he has been receiving over the past year?  

I don’t know because he words are so convoluted it is nearly impossible to understand what he is saying.  I think that is purposeful.  He doesn’t want to own any sin and what he does communicate amounts to next to nothing.  

First, he says, “I want the applications to everyday life to deepen in my preaching.”  He seems to be saying he needs to make his preaching more relevant or applicable to everyday life.  

Second, he says, “I want the broad use of all the spiritual gifts in our local body to be used for broader impact through my leadership, and through John’s leadership.”  This too is unclear.  He seems to be saying he wants people to use “all the spiritual gifts” but only if they do so under or through his and John’s control and leadership.  

He sums up his weaknesses in two sentences but these “are just two of many things [and] areas where I need to grow.”  Care to delineate these many things and areas of your life?  Nah!  I’ll pass.  This is the pretension of humility.] 

I should also say that John insisted that he should be included in this.  He wants to stand with me in the needs for growth which at a time where the focus is clearly on my own weaknesses, the fact that he wants to stand with me in that, moves me deeply and makes me so grateful that we have a pastor like John Reyes in our church and I know you feel the same.  

We want you to know that we strive, and will strive all the more to grow so we can be the biggest blessings we can be in your lives.  John and I want to do our very best for God and the good of your souls because we love you in Christ so deeply. 

[Comment: This is a mutual admiration society. “The needs for growth” (which are obscure) have nothing to do with growth in godliness.  John is not a true shepherd from my perspective.  If he were he’d stopped enabling and praising C.B. when he needs reproof and discipline.  Instead he flatters.  And once again, C.B. does not articulate how he needs to “strive all the more to grow.”  He closes with a lengthy motivational message to rally the troops by using analogies and Scriptures out of context.] 

In the days to come, as we mentioned before, in for our local body to accomplish all God has for us, each member of our church will need to do his or her work for the glory of God.  We will need all of us to step forward into greater service and have each part of the body functioning in order to accomplish all that we believe God’s is going to do. 

And I thank God for the deacons, and their wives, who are stepping up, for the Care Group leaders and their wives, assistant Care Group leaders and wives, for the ministry team leaders, and the Sunday servants who help our mobile and precious church thrive week to week.  

I am thankful for the men we are discipling in pastoral ministry in our midst and that we are eager to see biblically qualified men, more of them, be added to our eldership.  And I also look out at all of you, and I feel not only great love, but I also feel great confidence because as Phillipians 1 says, “He who began a good work in us, we carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” 

[Comment: The church has been severely depleted.  Everyone that remains needs to do more.] 

May the Lord help us to look forward with faith to what God has in store for us in the days to come Christ Community, and may He fill us with fresh vision, and keep us steady in the wind.  May we serve God in times when our hearts are full of joy together, and also may we serve God in times when our hearts are broken together.  

I shared with our leaders that we want to be a people who build together, and bleed together.  It brings great glory to God when His people bind together and continue to sow in tears because we know that we are going to reap in joy.  

[Comment: The people have been victimized by the ungodly departure of friends.  The faithful who remain will build together and bleed together.  There is no thought of the suffering experienced by those who had to leave as a matter of conscience.] 

John and I are here for you as you are processing these things.  We love you.  Don’t let your hearts be discouraged.  Jesus promised us that He is with us and He is the one who is building His church.  And so we fix our eyes on not what is seen, but on what is unseen, and we trust in the Lord with all of our hearts together. 

Though we will feel the effects of sovereign shakings when the Lord ordains, not just the joyous times likes Acts 1-4 but also the times of hardship like Acts 5-28 and the ups and downs that we have talked about in God’s glorious advance of His gospel.  

[Comment: This is another misuse of Scripture.  Christ Community Church is not experiencing “times of hardship like Acts 5-28” which narrates times of persecution.  This is a feel good message that all is well but all is not well.] 

Let us give thanks for Hebrews 12, verse 28, “Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” 

[Comment:  C.B. is fooling himself if he is equating the church with the unshakable Kingdom of God.  He gives no attention to “acceptable worship with reverence and awe” because “God is a consuming fire.”  He should be focused on the Father’s discipline in verses 4-17.  Now he will go the extra mile and turn the other cheek as he blesses Ben even though his “serious critiques” were unfounded, his call for C.B. to stepped down completely out of order, and his leaving the church unnecessary and “very painful.”] 

Let us give thanks that He who began a good work in us, will indeed, carry it on to completion.  Let us pray together. 

Almighty God, we pray that you would fill our hearts in this moment as we ponder with sadness the departure of Ben and Kelly and their family; but we thank you so much for just the blessing, the many blessings we have received from them, and those blessings endure.  What has been built by Ben in the life of our church, and Kelly and their kids, it endures and we thank you so much for that. 

Lord, bless Ben and Kelly, and their whole family in Christ, and may they know our ongoing love, and they do church, they know your love, may they know our ongoing love and may they know our thankfulness for all they have done to us. 

Spirit of God fill us right now even to overflowing and fill us with fresh hope that we might fill all the needs in their departure.  Bind us here together in greater Christian love for one another, and greater Christian unity.  

Send the roots of the gospel deep down into our own lives individually, and also deeper into the life of our church that we would become Lord a tree that grows us up that is like the tree in Psalm 1 that sends down its roots by the stream, and sends down deep roots so that the tree grows up and matures and is strong.  And so that, we pray that many, many, hundreds and thousands of souls will be touched by the gospel under the shade of the tree that you are building here in the midst of all of us.  

Thank you so much for allowing us to be a part of it.  Helps us to be strong as Christians and help us to grow strong, and even stronger as a church, that we might be saved and strengthened through our labors together.  In Jesus’ name, amen. [applause] 

I love you.  Thank you so much.  Yea, you guys are awesome.  I want to know, keep reaching out to Ben and Kelly in friendship.  Love them.  We are going to continue to do that.  We are going to continue to love them.  

[Comment: Ben, Kelly and the children have not felt the love of God from C.B., John, or the church.  They felt betrayed and maligned.  Their hearts were broken.  Listen to a few of his words again. 

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
None of these things are often true.  What is true is that these church leaders show through their actions and the history of those who they have hurt that they are most concerned, not with caring for people or doing what is right, but rather maintaining power at all costs.

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
These things break my heart and have caused those who have experienced it years of pain as they process the hurt from people who they put their trust in.  What I know is that these things break God’s heart even more and He will bring His grace and justice to it all.

Ben Ross
@BenRoss610· 4h
My prayer is that more and more people will speak out against these abuses and that healthy churches and leaders will rise up in their place.] 

These kind of things make you long for heaven, don’t they, when we will all be together in unbroken joy forever and ever, and we will never ever, we will never feel pain again in any way as Christians or as a gathering of believers.   So we love you, and thank you so much.  Have a wonderful day and John and I are here to pray with you if there is anything we can do to help or me with you in the days to come.  Thank you. 

[Comment: C.B. closes by saying what Ben and others have done to him and the church “make you long for heaven” where “we will never feel pain again.”  In his pride and self-righteousness, the thought has never crossed C.B.’s mind that he is the inflictor of pain.  Instead, he changes the narrative and makes himself the victim and consummate man of God with John’s help.  This is precisely what C.J. Mahaney has done over the years.  He has trained C.B. well in his ways.]